On Tuesday 21 we perform or final show for the college students and teacher, witch was a devised piece that was based on various stories that teenagers, my age or going threw on a daily-bases.
we perform for an audience of 50 people.
while wait for or audience to take their seat that's when the whole group started to panic, we all was seating back stage hearing the audience coming in, i remember thinking in my head this it, this is the time to prove to miss Jackie (the director) that you could take her feet back and have an outstanding performance.
and this is because during our tech run i was finding it hard to find my emotion and connecting with the character i had to play, and that was really bothering me because i really wanted to do good i mean i have a friend suffering from what my character was about witch was depression and i just couldn't find my inner connection.
but then for the show. whilst waiting back stage i just focus on what scared me and hurt me the most about seeing her (my friend) in that condition and i found my emotion and finally connecting with my character and give it my all and my best, and i find it was good i really enjoyed myself and the play, i mean the story and message we was trying to get out was powerful i really enjoyed it.
Thursday, 23 June 2016
Thursday, 16 June 2016
research evidence for my piece.
the last scene is a poem "called When all is lost".
i couldn't get it copie so this is the link to it.
http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/docs/Whenallislost.swf
this poem was partied individually between the group.
all these research help us because they are real stories that people shared with the world their own personal story and for them to be so open and honest with stories that are so dark and hard to even say is amazing am going to try my best and share it to the audience properly and pass the message to show how powerful depression and mental health is.
i couldn't get it copie so this is the link to it.
http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/docs/Whenallislost.swf
this poem was partied individually between the group.
all these research help us because they are real stories that people shared with the world their own personal story and for them to be so open and honest with stories that are so dark and hard to even say is amazing am going to try my best and share it to the audience properly and pass the message to show how powerful depression and mental health is.
research evidence for my piece
the first scene it base of the script called The Day THE Music Died
The Day the Music Died
‘No! They make my head fuzzy.’ A savage glare. ‘You’re trying to turn me into a dumb animal!’ I eventually get her to swallow the tablets. She resents me bitterly: but I’m trying to keep her alive. The latest bouts of self‐mutilation and suicidal talk caused the psychiatrist to change my daughter’s medication. She snarls that these pills dull her mind, she can no longer feel the music in her head. For Jacinta, a talented seventeen‐year‐old, to be unable to compose and perform her own music is living death. I leave her bedroom door open. Fifteen minutes later, I hear a child’s voice crying, ‘Mummy’. She is sobbing bitterly but won’t let me touch her. ‘Mummy, please let me die, please.’ I shudder but manage to sound soothing. ‘You’ll feel better in a few weeks, honey. Just hang in there.’ ‘But I wanted to die before and now the music’s gone as well.’ ‘Give the tablets time to work. The doctor said you should feel better in about six weeks.’ ‘But will my music come back?’ This child who oscillates between three and thirty is too bright to be fooled by baseless promises. ‘I don’t know, honey, but you won’t have to stay on these tablets forever. Your depression and anxiety were getting worse, probably because the exams are coming. Just put up with it until they’re over … maybe you can cut back then.’ I had thought long and hard about withdrawing her from school, but she’s an overachiever; that would seem the ultimate failure to her. I decide that it would only increase the chance of suicide. ‘What if I can’t?’ A desperate child’s anguished cry. ‘I want to die!’ ‘More counselling could help. Perhaps you’d manage on milder tablets then.’ ‘Mrs P! She’s fuddy‐duddy, just like you.’ I know the woman isn’t suitable for my hip daughter but our choices are limited. I’m on a pension since my own breakdown several years ago, and looking for an independent psychologist who would suit Jacinta is out of the question financially.
the word's highlighted in red is what i will be using in the first scene.
the word's highlighted in yellow is what natalia will be using in the first scene.
the second scene is base of the script called And Then My Tears Subsided....
And Then My Tears Subsided...
“This morning I will get out of bed. This morning I will go to school. Today I will finish my maths test. I will hand in my English project and during the lunch break I will socialise with my friends. I will laugh, joke and talk with my friends. I will tell witty stories about my weekend and before I know it the school day will be over and no one will know how I am feeling on the inside. Then when I get home I can go back to bed and not have to pretend for anyone anymore.” The words above are from a journal entry I wrote on April 20, 2000. At the time I was 14 years old, in Year 9 at High School. I can remember back to the morning of this journal entry. I barely managed to haul myself out of bed and go to school and when I arrived I could not contain my tears enough to enter the classroom. I walked back out through the front gate less than half an hour after I had walked in. Experiencing clinical depression throughout my adolescence was at times quite gruelling. I think back to my high school years and I can almost feel the memories of the confusion and the frustration of my dark times. The times of not being able to stop crying for days. The moments I felt pain so intensely I thought it would never subside. My appetite fluctuations, the anxiety and the irritability. The almost permanent fatigue which I felt would never lift because I could rarely sleep through the night. I felt empty and numb and alone. I went through phases of indecisiveness, which annoyed my friends almost as much as it annoyed me. I felt paranoid and guilty and my mood would change in what felt like only seconds. Then there were the feelings that made me believe suicide would solve all my problems. When I remember back to this time in my life sometimes I wonder how I made it through, how I am still here today. Then, at other times I don't have to think for very long about what helped me and why I am still here. There were many different people and many different things which helped me through these years. For a long time I did not talk to anyone about how I was feeling. I was incredibly confused and did not know that other people felt much the same way as I did. I thought something was wrong with me and I felt like I should make myself 'normal' again. This was probably the worst thing I tried to do. I was 13 years old, I had never heard validation of any mental illness, I only knew that 'crazy people' were locked away. Around this time the internet was just becoming available for public use. I was able to connect at school sometimes and this was where I could anonymously research what was 'wrong' with me. Through research on the internet and books I would read in the corners of public libraries, I learned that depression was a real illness, affecting many more people than just me. This brought me a huge amount of comfort – just as reading stories of others living with depression did. It was around this time I felt empowered enough to try and change how I was feeling. I researched every alternative therapy to that of medication
The Day the Music Died
‘No! They make my head fuzzy.’ A savage glare. ‘You’re trying to turn me into a dumb animal!’ I eventually get her to swallow the tablets. She resents me bitterly: but I’m trying to keep her alive. The latest bouts of self‐mutilation and suicidal talk caused the psychiatrist to change my daughter’s medication. She snarls that these pills dull her mind, she can no longer feel the music in her head. For Jacinta, a talented seventeen‐year‐old, to be unable to compose and perform her own music is living death. I leave her bedroom door open. Fifteen minutes later, I hear a child’s voice crying, ‘Mummy’. She is sobbing bitterly but won’t let me touch her. ‘Mummy, please let me die, please.’ I shudder but manage to sound soothing. ‘You’ll feel better in a few weeks, honey. Just hang in there.’ ‘But I wanted to die before and now the music’s gone as well.’ ‘Give the tablets time to work. The doctor said you should feel better in about six weeks.’ ‘But will my music come back?’ This child who oscillates between three and thirty is too bright to be fooled by baseless promises. ‘I don’t know, honey, but you won’t have to stay on these tablets forever. Your depression and anxiety were getting worse, probably because the exams are coming. Just put up with it until they’re over … maybe you can cut back then.’ I had thought long and hard about withdrawing her from school, but she’s an overachiever; that would seem the ultimate failure to her. I decide that it would only increase the chance of suicide. ‘What if I can’t?’ A desperate child’s anguished cry. ‘I want to die!’ ‘More counselling could help. Perhaps you’d manage on milder tablets then.’ ‘Mrs P! She’s fuddy‐duddy, just like you.’ I know the woman isn’t suitable for my hip daughter but our choices are limited. I’m on a pension since my own breakdown several years ago, and looking for an independent psychologist who would suit Jacinta is out of the question financially.
the word's highlighted in red is what i will be using in the first scene.
the word's highlighted in yellow is what natalia will be using in the first scene.
the second scene is base of the script called And Then My Tears Subsided....
And Then My Tears Subsided...
“This morning I will get out of bed. This morning I will go to school. Today I will finish my maths test. I will hand in my English project and during the lunch break I will socialise with my friends. I will laugh, joke and talk with my friends. I will tell witty stories about my weekend and before I know it the school day will be over and no one will know how I am feeling on the inside. Then when I get home I can go back to bed and not have to pretend for anyone anymore.” The words above are from a journal entry I wrote on April 20, 2000. At the time I was 14 years old, in Year 9 at High School. I can remember back to the morning of this journal entry. I barely managed to haul myself out of bed and go to school and when I arrived I could not contain my tears enough to enter the classroom. I walked back out through the front gate less than half an hour after I had walked in. Experiencing clinical depression throughout my adolescence was at times quite gruelling. I think back to my high school years and I can almost feel the memories of the confusion and the frustration of my dark times. The times of not being able to stop crying for days. The moments I felt pain so intensely I thought it would never subside. My appetite fluctuations, the anxiety and the irritability. The almost permanent fatigue which I felt would never lift because I could rarely sleep through the night. I felt empty and numb and alone. I went through phases of indecisiveness, which annoyed my friends almost as much as it annoyed me. I felt paranoid and guilty and my mood would change in what felt like only seconds. Then there were the feelings that made me believe suicide would solve all my problems. When I remember back to this time in my life sometimes I wonder how I made it through, how I am still here today. Then, at other times I don't have to think for very long about what helped me and why I am still here. There were many different people and many different things which helped me through these years. For a long time I did not talk to anyone about how I was feeling. I was incredibly confused and did not know that other people felt much the same way as I did. I thought something was wrong with me and I felt like I should make myself 'normal' again. This was probably the worst thing I tried to do. I was 13 years old, I had never heard validation of any mental illness, I only knew that 'crazy people' were locked away. Around this time the internet was just becoming available for public use. I was able to connect at school sometimes and this was where I could anonymously research what was 'wrong' with me. Through research on the internet and books I would read in the corners of public libraries, I learned that depression was a real illness, affecting many more people than just me. This brought me a huge amount of comfort – just as reading stories of others living with depression did. It was around this time I felt empowered enough to try and change how I was feeling. I researched every alternative therapy to that of medication
evaluation of thursday june 4
what is missing from the peace as a whole.
i think everybody need more connection with the story line and their personal character. because if we don't connect with the piece and the story line then the audience won't connect either .and if we connect it will be more develop.
i think everybody need more connection with the story line and their personal character. because if we don't connect with the piece and the story line then the audience won't connect either .and if we connect it will be more develop.
evolution of thursday's rehearsal, 14 june
what is missing from my scene:
come up with an idea to improve that moment.
the moment between the mother and daughter is not emotionally developed we have been working on it with my group and came up with some good ideas to develop it, by adding when the mother is giving her daughter her pilles the daughter will refuse to take it but the mom won't stop until she take it so the daughter look her dead in the eyes and take them one by one.
another scene me and mariana have to get in an argument about why i never come to meet her, we made it more clear by adding more emotion and i have to react to her anger because am not mentally stable because of what happened the night before and she don't know what am going thru and home so she have a go at me and i have to cry and show emoting.
come up with an idea to improve that moment.
the moment between the mother and daughter is not emotionally developed we have been working on it with my group and came up with some good ideas to develop it, by adding when the mother is giving her daughter her pilles the daughter will refuse to take it but the mom won't stop until she take it so the daughter look her dead in the eyes and take them one by one.
another scene me and mariana have to get in an argument about why i never come to meet her, we made it more clear by adding more emotion and i have to react to her anger because am not mentally stable because of what happened the night before and she don't know what am going thru and home so she have a go at me and i have to cry and show emoting.
Thursday, 9 June 2016
depression
my character has depression, and this is some information about depression.
Depression
Depression
Depression is a common mental disorder that causes people to experience depressed mood, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, low energy, and poor concentration.
Depression is different from feeling down or sad. Unhappiness is something which everyone feels at one time or another, usually due to a particular cause. A person experiencing depression will experience intense emotions of anxiety, hopelessness, negativity and helplessness, and the feelings stay with them instead of going away.
Depression can happen to anyone. Many successful and famous people who seem to have everything going for them battle with this problem. Depression also affects people of every age.
Half of the people who have depression will only experience it once but for the other half it will happen again. The length of time that it takes to recover ranges from around six months to a year or more.
Living with depression is difficult for those who suffer from it and for their family, friends, and colleagues. It can be difficult to know if you are depressed and what you can do about it.
photos about depression
Friday, 20 May 2016
Our First Ever Idea
we are going to base or scene on Shequanda story not the real story but a version of it. we are going to start with a monologue and end with a monologue.
it's going to start in a school Sheqaunda gets a panic attack some of us is going to take it serious and some of us is going to ignore it Shequanda will be miss for a couple of weeks we realize and call but know answer.
1st monologue: Marianna
Last monologue: Shequanda
hospital scene three nurse two mental health me and Marianna try's to help Shequanda doesn't listing have to call natalia to her calm her down two nurse go help Annisha her eat.
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